Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Awkward Occasions- Funerals

Lovers,

I am so sorry to not have blogged in such a long time. I took some time off to help care for my father whom I just lost on December 31st to a courageous battle with brain cancer. I tried to write throughout the past few weeks and I just couldn't give ya anything worth reading.

There was a lot to learn about being still and not thinking about myself at all for weeks on end. I don't mean that in a pompous way. I don't ever deny that I enjoy being somewhat of a kept woman. Sometimes there is nothing better than a manicure, facial, eyebrow wax or a new pair of pumps. Let’s not deny that I have three pairs of shoes that at purchase time became three of my most magical moments in life ;). At some of the toughest moments, I inappropriately used shopping as a coping mechanism for a greater void that was not filled. I think shopping can definitely be therapy and most of the time it’s better than drugs (I mean prescription!) but I have discovered it’s only healthy in mild to medium troubles and not in devastation. Never spending more than you have is an excellent rule of thumb. Otherwise you just create a larger headache for yourself later on. 

Undeniably fashion has a way to put a twinkle in your eye or smile on your face during some of the hardest times. For instance, shopping for my dad's Celebration of Life service was the only shopping I think I have EVER not wanted to do. However, I found this very "me" silk long dress from Savvy at Nordstrom Rack and I put it on in the dressing room, mentally picked out the shoes I would wear and said "this looks like me." That was the moment when I got excited to celebrate my dad with everyone. Feeling that little bit of confidence will allow me to walk out in front of hundreds of people and feel alright and not worry about anything other than my family, friends and all the special moments and the special person we will celebrate that day. 

Now onto a topic that people just don’t really talk about.

What is appropriate attire for a Funeral or Celebration of Life service?

Did you know that in some Asian countries people wear white to funerals? What a glorious idea; however I don’t suggest it in The States. The UK and US are known for the token color of black at funerals.

Times have changed so much and the rules are not as strict, especially on the west coast. However, out of respect for the ones we’ve lost and the grieving family I do have a few suggestions.

NEUTRAL, DEEP, SUBTLE, CONSERVATIVE
French Connection Dress

Of course black is a respectable default color that is always appropriate for this occasion unless the family requests otherwise. It’s actually quite common these days at a Celebration of Life services for families to request light and fun colors for the attendees to lighten the mood and truly act like a celebration. Please only do that if you've seen a request.
BB Dakota

Brown, gray, forest green, deep blue and purple are appropriate colors to pair with black or even wear alone. Instead of freaking out about what color to wear focus on a neutral and subtle feel to your outfit. The object is just to not stand out and draw attention to yourself.

Funerals on the west coast are a semi-formal event. Dresses, skirts and slacks are appropriate paired with sweaters, cardigans and blouses. Focus on appropriate lengths and being conservation. No cleavage. Dress appropriately for the weather of your location. 
                                                              StyleBop

Or at Sweet Jayne Right now we have this great little deep blue number that would work as well! Too bad I already bought my dress!! 
                             Sweet Jayne's Very J Dress $58.00

 ..... Until next time!!!

- JRS